


Not in Front of the Boys

by Agent_Talis



Category: The Professionals
Genre: Episode: s01e08 Everest Was Also Conquered, Gen, Introspection, Parental!Cowley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 17:23:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5464763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agent_Talis/pseuds/Agent_Talis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A moment of indecision for Cowley makes him aware of his own role.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not in Front of the Boys

_“Not here to help, sir. Just pick up a few tips.”_

Bodie’s lip is curled and Doyle is watching me intently. They’re both waiting to see what I’ll do. I can feel the coldness radiating off of Bodie and Doyle’s gaze is steady, but there’s a hint of apprehension shimmering in the depths. They believe I’ll do it. They believe that I’ll shoot an unarmed man in the back. As I look at Sir Fredrick I almost want to. It would be so easy… ease back my finger… the jolt of the gun in my hand… his blood staining the floor like poor young Tony Miller’s…

Suddenly, unbidden and unwanted, I hear my mother’s voice echoing in my mind. It is as clear as a bell, untainted by her death and the fifty years of distance between that moment and the now, as silver as a drop of rain from the sky.

_“Clyde! Not in front of the boys!”_

I cannot remember the context or what my father was doing. As far as I remember he was angry with someone – something about his work. I was a child. But now as I stare at the man who used me, abused my trust – killed my man – and the two survivors standing behind him, watching me, it feels darkly appropriate. Not in front of the boys. My boys.

Yet they wait… wait for me to pull the trigger and shatter everything I’ve told them.

Quick! Remember that Bodie was fatherless and unwanted and ran away to escape a mother’s neglect. Remember that Doyle’s father beat him and his sisters if he was drunk and they got too close. Remember that they call _you_ Father.

Remember that you taught them about anger.

Don’t remember that the man standing in front of you was your friend. Don’t remember that he caused the deaths of three people, including one of your lads.

Channel it. Let it build and grow, concentrate it – rein it in until you need it.

I do not need it. Not yet. Not now.

These thoughts are like quicksilver. My decision – to the three men in front of me at least – is equally as swift. “Take him.”

“George!” Sir Frederick silences himself. He offers me a defeated stare, but I turn away and am unable to meet his eyes. Bodie and Doyle lead him away, uncharacteristically quiet.

They will wonder about it, I know, wonder if I would have so callously gunned Sir Frederick down and damn the consequences.

Maybe I would have. Maybe I wouldn’t.

But I remembered that they call me Father.

**Author's Note:**

> While watching the second final scene of Everest Was Also Conquered, I realised that Cowley only stopped himself from shooting Sir Frederick because Bodie and Doyle were there. For some reason, in my mind, it was a bit like not swearing in front of a kid - you set an example. Couple that with the fact that one of Cowley's nicknames is 'Father'...  
> A bit sentimental perhaps, but I like the idea of a parental and protective Cowley...


End file.
